You’re A Hazard, Harry
The amount of notes concerns me
i’m more concerned about the fact that this orange is still on the loose he could kill again at any time
the newspapers give this notorious killer a nickname
much to the dismay of the lead detective
how are these people not dead
Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die
"nerd" and"loser" were like hard hitting insults in the early 2000’s and now they are used as affectionate terms we have truly come full circle
Sorry, but no, we did a 180. A full circle would mean we went back to them as insults
can someone translate this i dont know british
I’ll do my best
*ahem* AY YO MA
I can’t breathe
When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
Baby elephant smiles
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